Watching From the Sidelines
by Bookwormlovesharrypotter
Summary: Remus watches Lily everyday on the other side of the common room. He knows that, one day, he will tell her the way he feels. Written for Round One of the Genres Competition on HPFC


**Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Harry Potter. I only write for my enjoyment and the enjoyment of others. **

**Genre: A Slice of Life – A story that might have no plot, but represents a portion of (everyday) life.**

**Prompt: I see you**

* * *

Everyday, I come down to sit in the common room. Everyday, I bring a book to hide behind. Everyday, the book is on a different subject. Everyday, I come and stare at her. Everyday, no one notices. Everyday, my longing for her grows and grows. Everyday, my hearts rapidly beats whenever she shakes her head full of that carmine hair. Everyday, she never notices me. And, everyday, my dreams are crushed by my best friend.

It's not really his fault though. He has the right to her. He has, after all, pined after her for six bloody years. He has loved her since they met that day long ago on the train. Every year, he has hoped that she would say yes to him. I didn't care, though. I was too busy worrying about school or something equally as stupid. My friend, on the other hand, had a one-track mind for her. And finally, this year, he got her. If I had wanted her, I would have had to spoken up years ago, before his crush grew into an obsession.

I really don't mind my friend. He is a good guy, an honest person. And she is lucky to have him. But, I feel like I understand her better. I know that my best friend only likes the idea of her. He only likes that she was hard to get. He likes that she made a goal for him. The goal of getting her to love him. But, really, besides that, he is a good guy. He helps me overcome myself every full moon and after. I just think that I understand her better than him. She loves school, reading, and following the rules. I like those things to. My best friend, on the other hand, loves to slack off, plan stupid pranks, and break the rules. I am the perfect fit for her. At least, I'm a better fit for her than my friend.

But really, truly, I hadn't felt this way until recent. Up until then, she was just my best girl friend. The girl that I could be my true self with and not worry about my other friends judging me. Sure, they were nice to hang out with on the full moons, but I never felt truly excepted. And, she was able to talk to me. Over the course of those two years, we had grown close. Close enough to see when either of us was having a bad day. We were able to help each other no matter what. We were thicker than friends. We were like brother and sister. And I was fine with that.

Until this year.

This year, when I saw first her on the train, sitting in the lap of my best friend, my chest started pounding. I could feel my heart start to bang in my chest like a big brass band. Over the summer, something about her changed. Before, she was a lonely, little girl who needed protection. I gladly was that protector. Now, she was a independent women who could fight her own fights. While I missed that little innocent girl, I found this new version of her to be desirable. This new girl was confident and I liked it. The wolf inside of me liked it too. But, she was still with my friend and I respected that. I would have done nothing if it wasn't for that constant beast voice inside my reasonable mind.

So that is why today, I am going to tell her. I am going to tell her how I feel about her and how much I care. I love her so much, sometimes, it seems like I become a totally different person around her. I become my true self. My happy self. And she was happy around me. I wanted happiness to be hers with everything that she did. And I know that she would be happy with me. I am going to march up to her tell her how she makes my feel. I will tell her how I love every single little aspect of her. I love her more than anything in this entire world. Nothing anyone does is going to stop me. The wolf in my mind is determined to get what he wants and who am I to stop him? Today is the day. No more watching from the sidelines. I am going to change my life myself, not let any random person control my own life.

When I finally got up my courage to walk over to the red and gold couch she was sitting at alone, I suddenly stop. My best friend appeared from coming out of our dorm room I stood, frozen in the center room, not knowing where to go. Wishing that I could turn around, but knowing that what he was going to say would be important.

I saw him, from my spot in the common room, fiddle with his pocket while talking to her. I saw him, not yet turning away, get down on one knee and pull out little black box from his pocket. I saw him, my eyes widening, ask her the question every girl wants to hear. I saw her, my sight slightly blurry from the tears, move her ruby red lips into a smile. I saw her, while trying and failing to turn away, throw her arms around my best friends neck. I saw both of them, my heart splitting in two, share a sweet, loving kiss.

I slowly managed to turn away from the happy couple to go up to my dorm. I cut out all the noise my friends were making in the common room. All the noise, the hands moving together, the mouths hooting with laughter and cheers, the feet stomping like elephants, were lost to me and my sorrow. Nothing could get through to me now. I was empty like a ghost.

Everyday, though, I still sit there. Everyday, though, a book hides my scarred face. Everyday, though, I learn more and more about her behind my different books. Everyday, though, I still come to stare. Everyday, though, no one even looks at me or gives me a second glance. Everyday, though, my heart can't stop loving her. Everyday, though, her hair is still a reminder of what I love about her. Everyday, though, she is too preoccupied by something else. Everyday, though, my heart in smashed by her loving looks at my best friend.

Everyday, still, Lily Evans will remain in my heart

* * *

**~This was written for Round One of the Genres Competition on HPFC. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. Review! Review! Review!**


End file.
